When a loved one commits suicide, the emotions are intense and overwhelming. Heartbreaking grief can be juxtaposed with feelings of relief for some who have dealt with mental illness, addiction, or destructive behaviors.  Family members and friends are often consumed by guilt as they wonder if they could have done something to prevent the death. The fallout after a loved one’s suicide can be particularly physically and emotionally exhausting.

Let it Go
There is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own bitterness and resentment. We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that disappoint and anger in this mortal life, it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way.
Deiter F. Uchtdorf

Forgive Yourself
Forgive yourself for not have the foresight to know what now seems so obvious in hindsight.
Judy Belmont

  From the Editors Desk

  1. Suicide is Not Shameful

    Suicide. It’s a word I am not afraid to use and I hope you are not afraid to use it either, especially around me. The word suicide is associated with shame and I hope to change that. I think anytime we hide something, it leads us to worsen that condition....
  2. Coping Strategies for Dealing with Suicide

    Because of the nature of the events that lead up to suicide, the trauma of the occurrence, and the often unkind response by others, the aftermath of a loved one’s suicide can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Learning to cope and deal with grief in a healthy manner is pivotal to...
  3. The Pains of Suicide

    I have a unique perspective as a suicide widow, and it is a story I know I need to tell. I have been avoiding it for a while in my writing, but the fact that Jason chose to leave is a very real thing. One of the things that are...

  Real Stories

There is no easy solution for helping someone who has thoughts about suicide.

  From Our Experience

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For me it is important to understand that most of the time suicide is the result of a mental illness and not truly a choice. Though it may seem to be a choice, most people are not acting truly with their agency. They are effected by chemical and other things that give satan the foot hold in. They are not to blame and neither are you!! The “would have…” “should have…” “could haves…” are dangerous. Leave them alone. Try to find peace in the fact that they have left pain and suffering behind.

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Find a suicide grief group. It is huge to know that you aren’t alone and that the crazy, roller coaster of emotions you experience is normal! Be patient with your grieving and allow yourself to experience ALL the emotions, positive and negative! Professional help is a huge tool in healing in a healthy manner. You DO have the internal strength to make it through this. That doesn’t mean you need to be strong every single moment. It means picking yourself up off the floor every time you fall apart and realizing that every breakdown, every tear is a step toward emotional healing. There is no better time than this to learn what the Atonement and His Grace is REALLY about and to forge an unbreakable relationship with the Savior!

 Brace for Powerful Emotions

A loved one’s suicide can trigger intense emotions. For example:

  • Shock. Disbelief and emotional numbness might set in. You might think that your loved one’s suicide couldn’t possibly be real.
  • Anger. You might be angry with your loved one for abandoning you or leaving you with a legacy of grief — or angry with yourself or others for missing clues about suicidal intentions.
  • Guilt. You might replay “what if” and “if only” scenarios in your mind, blaming yourself for your loved one’s death.
  • Despair. You might be gripped by sadness, loneliness or helplessness. You might have a physical collapse or even consider suicide yourself.

You might continue to experience intense reactions during the weeks and months after your loved one’s suicide — including nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, social withdrawal and loss of interest in usual activities — especially if you witnessed or discovered the suicide.

  More From Our Blog on Suicide

  1. Things to Forgive

    Things to Forgive

    Emotions!  I don’t know what to do with them because they are everywhere lately.  I hurt for myself, for my kids for the uncertainty of life, for those that are struggling themselves and the emotions I have to deal with are heavy and huge right now. It’s okay. I will...

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  2. The Face of Depression

    The Face of Depression

    I read an article on the face of depression that really hit me. The face of depression is often not recognizable. It is not a person with a frown who has their head down. It is usually a person who is smiling and appears to have it all. I have spoken to...

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  3. Answering the Questions of Suicide

    Answering the Questions of Suicide

    Death by suicide is certainly a complicated grief. This grief rollercoaster is amazing. If you think there is a rollercoaster in the world that can manage the twists, turns and insanity of grief, you would be wrong. Grief is unpredictable, follows no rules and comes at you without warning. It...

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  4. Emotional Security

    Emotional Security

    In my post Understanding Attachment Styles,  I highlighted the four main approaches individuals employ in building and maintaining their relationships. I suggest reading that article as a complement to this. More secure individuals form more secure attachments to others, leading to more fulfilling relationships. I’m often asked what the implications are...

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