When death is caused by someone else’s personal choice,  healing has to rely powerfully on forgiveness. The emotions of grief, may be overshadowed with anger towards the one who caused the death. Hatred may be a core emotion for a long time. Often closure is delayed because of legal matters. Some may never know the why, how, or by whom, and not knowing can often be harder than confrontations. Forgiveness may feel impossible; the future may be filled with fear. Trauma may keep you from allowing yourself to feel for a very long time or may plague you with anxiety. All of these are all very real and need to be processed. However, hate and resentmentment will never nourish faith. No one has been where you have been, but there is one who knows exactly how you feel. You are not alone. Maybe the world has not protected what you have lossed, but there is a higher power that still believes in you. To forgive will take faith—not necessarily in another person—but in your relationship to your God. Forgiveness will be the biggest step to your healing. It will take time and it may only come in little spurts, but it is forgiveness that will truly be what brings peace. To feel whole we must find ourselves, and figure out how to stop searching for what has been taken from us.   “To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and realize the prisoner was you.” Lewis Smedes

An Act of Will
Forgiveness is an act of will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.
Corrie ten Boom -Holocaust Survivor

To Obtain Peace
Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace
Johnathan Lockwood Huie

  Talking about Grief and Loss

Ashlee Birk talks with Karen Millsap from Widow’s at Work about her road to forgiveness after her husband’s murder

  Real Stories

A Minneapolis mother, whose son was murdered, now lives next door to — and is friends with — her son’s murderer. Steve Hartman reports on the power of forgiveness.

  More From Our Blog on Murder

  1. Choose a Side

    Choose a Side

    On the day the jury went to Walgreens—to see the crime scene all mapped out—they first allowed us, as victims, time to walk through with the detectives and ask questions. I remember getting out of my car—shaking I was so nervous—wanting to burst into tears. It was daytime, but the...

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  2. All I Ever Wanted

    All I Ever Wanted

    It came. The day I had dreaded for almost two years—my turn to take the stand. I don’t remember how I got there that day. Besides Rob, I don’t remember who was sitting in the courtroom watching me. All I remember was gasping for air. When they called my name...

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  3. Face to Face

    Face to Face

    I never knew life was going to be filled with so many moments. Moments of much strength have come when I have least expected them—but moments of overwhelming weakness have hit at a time when I thought I was strong. It is hard to prepare for all the moments we...

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  4. Blood


    One afternoon, I got a call from the detectives letting me know that Rob had requested the release of his truck after it had been held as evidence. I stubbornly shot back my response to that information. “Well, then I request the release of Emmett’s truck as well.” I wasn’t...

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