Dating

The loss of a companion leaves in it’s wake a hole of loneliness and the desire for companionship.  How do you know when it is time to start dating?  How do you prepare family and friends if you choose to take this step?  What are the pitfalls and important things to know before you begin to date?

Being Comfortable with Being Alone
Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness
Mandy Hale

The Person Who Fits with Your ``Rightness``
When a woman is not attracted to you, it does not always mean it is because of something missing in you. Often it is because there is something missing in her life that makes you incompatible for her. (Remember, that can work both ways.) Dating is about being the right person rather than finding or looking for the right person. When you are the right person, the person who fits with your “rightness” will be attracted to you.

  Dating Advice from a Widow

Thanks to Karen Millsap, one of our authors, for sharing this interview with us.  Karen helps widows reintegrate in the workplace.  You can find out more about her programs at karenmillsap.com

There are so many questions around dating or even the idea of having a love life after your spouse dies. Not only do we put ourselves through a lot emotionally, but other’s criticism, judgement or opinions can heavily impact our journey. My friend, Kim, talks about her late husband, finding love again, her kids while dating and more!

 

  From the Editors Desk

  1. Understanding Attachment Styles

    Your attachment style determines how you approach intimate relationships. It’s vitally important to understand the way that you attach to others and the way they attach to you. Recognizing and understanding your own and others’ attachment styles will help you develop and maintain more intimate and fulfilling relationships, help you...
  2. So you are Thinking About Dating…

    I am an avid note taker. Being very proactive, I like to collect information I may need for the future and hold it in my pocket for a future date.  Below is a compilation of notes and ideas from a class on dating from a  grief conference I attended.  The class was...
  3. Dating and Marrying a Widow

    The thought of having to be in the dating world again after your spouse dies is terrifying.  There are a lot of reasons for this, these are some of major ones… We still feel married first of all, so we battle the feeling that we may be doing something wrong and are betraying our...

  Real Stories

Being a previously married adult makes the decision to abstain from sexual relations until you are remarried a difficult one, yet it is one that will bring you greater security, self-confidence and aid from the Spirit.  In this video, Six interfaith youth speak candidly on why they have chosen to be sexually pure.

  More From Our Blog on Dating

  1. Is It Possible To Love Again?

    Is It Possible To Love Again?

      A common question is asked in my widow group, “Is it possible to love again?” It’s a good question because most people put all the love they have into their spouse, then when that person is gone, the love feels lost. This can happen with a divorce, too. It seems the...

    Full Story

  2. Emotional Security

    Emotional Security

    In my post Understanding Attachment Styles,  I highlighted the four main approaches individuals employ in building and maintaining their relationships. I suggest reading that article as a complement to this. More secure individuals form more secure attachments to others, leading to more fulfilling relationships. I’m often asked what the implications are...

    Full Story

  3. When is the Right Time to Start Dating?

    When is the Right Time to Start Dating?

    Understanding the process of grief is important in helping you determine if you are emotionally ready to date, or if you are simply trying to fill a hole prematurely.  I recommend reading The Stages of Grief and determining where you are in those stages before you begin dating.  In the Withdrawal Stage...

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  4. What You Need to Know if You Choose to Date

    What You Need to Know if You Choose to Date

    After the initial shock of loosing my husband had lessened, and I was somewhat able to function again in my life, I began to realize that I was left with feelings of intense loneness.  I wanted to do anything to fill that hole so that the pain would just stop. ...

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  5. Easing Children into the Idea of Dating and Remarriage

    Easing Children into the Idea of Dating and Remarriage

    How Children Deal with Dating Children ages 10 and younger can be very accepting about dating.  Younger children may even ask or want a replacement mommy or daddy.  They may voice their desire to have a replacement parent long before their remaining parent is even ready to date.  This can cause...

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Dating Advice from Julie

Things to consider when you are thinking about dating.

Relationships are as unique as the individuals in them

Don’t set out to replace the relationship you lost.  It is impossible to recreate the marriage you once had.  Your new relationship will be completely different because it is with someone that is completely different.  

Don’t give up just because it is hard.

The grief process doesn’t end when you are in a new relationship.

Remember when children are involved in blending a new family the kids have all experienced some sort of loss, whether it is because of divorce or death.

Make your new marriage a high priority.