Helping Yourself

As individuals we have to take care of all the aspects of our lives if we are to remain whole.  If we neglect one, we are likely to suffer and cope less effectively.  Being balanced and using effective coping will help us move forward through grief.

The Sides of You
You have to accept all sides of yourself – there’s no point fighting them – just learn how to handle them, and return to the positive, balanced being you know you can be, once the winds have blown through.

 Jay Woodman

  From Our Experience

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I struggled with the dark side during the second year. I was angry and frustrated. I would sit on the couch, not shower, not interact with people and then finally I got disgusted with myself and started slowly coming out of that dark side. I didn’t like who I was becoming. Sometimes I still sit on the couch but not as often now. I try every day to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward and trust in the Lord that where I am going now is the direction that I am suppose to be going.

  Factors Affecting the Grieving Process

  • The personality of the person who is grieving
  • The relationship with the person who died
  • The way the loved one passed away
  • The grieving person’s coping skills and mental health
  • The amount of support the grieving person has
  • The grieving person’s cultural and religious background
  • The grieving person’s social and financial position

Everyone copes with the death of a loved on in a unique way, but generally over time those coping skills will improve and the impact of grief will lessen. Severe grief, Complicated Grief, that is not improving over time may need treatment.

Relief is Possible

In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unaware. The older have learned to ever expect it. I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You can not now realize that you will ever feel better. Is not this so? And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. Remember in the depth and even the agony of despondency, that very shortly you are to feel well again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once.

Abraham Lincoln


Avoiding substance abuse, over or under eating, exercising, recieiving proper medical care.


Being able to voice feelings, working towards a new normal, coping with strong and negative emotions


Assimilating past beliefs with new experiences to come to a understanding


Gaining knowledge and skill to help you provide for yourself and your family


Creating a support network to meet new needs

Question & Answer

When do I need to get professional help?