Is It Possible To Love Again?

 

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A common question is asked in my widow group, “Is it possible to love again?” It’s a good question because most people put all the love they have into their spouse, then when that person is gone, the love feels lost. This can happen with a divorce, too. It seems the heart may be broken forever. Well my answer is YES, you can love again, and this is why I believe it …

After two years of marriage I had my first child and I absolutely adored him. He was the best thing to happen to me. He made all of my dreams I had of becoming a mom come true. He taught me so much and couldn’t even talk! My heart had never felt this way for another human being. He was mine and I was the one to give him life and everything to grow and become the best person he could be. I loved every second of his first year as I watched in amazement.

marcie adamson, riley adamson

Uh-oh. Problem… I got pregnant again. HOW in the world could I love this next person as much as my little boy I had given all my mommy love to? It just didn’t seem possible. Then it happened… a blue-eyed princess with golden hair was born. Instant love for this little girl poured out of my soul. My heart had done it! It had duplicated the love! I didn’t have to take love from one child to give to the other. My heart did it again, over and over as each of my six children were born. I love each of them completely. It doesn’t seem possible, until you’ve done it and felt it.

riley adamson, natalie adamson So if I can do it with kids, can I also do it with others? After 21 years of marriage my husband passed away and my heart ached. The physical pain was nothing like my heart had felt before. Could I ever put my heart on the line again? Was it broken beyond repair?

My miracle happened. Matt was put in my path and I fell in love. Deeply in love. My heart did it! I found out I could love more and more people and with my whole heart. So much that today I can say I’ve never been happier! My heart even duplicated love again for Matt’s three children who I love now like my own. Yes my heart grew THREE times that day I married him!

Isn’t the heart incredible- it grows and we don’t even gain weight- what other part of our body does that?! The heart is the most amazing component of my body– it heals, grows, restores, builds and most importantly adapts. It may take time and tender care, but when I am ready and open it up, I can feel more love than I ever dreamed possible. There is always room for more. I can really love again. And again. And again…

 In July of 2008 the unimaginable happened. My husband passed away at age 40, and I became a single mom of 6 kids. Two of my daughters were in class at school with kids from a family that had lost their mom in May. All four kids came up with a brilliant idea and decided we should get together as families because we were going through the same thing. If there is such a thing as “family dating”, we did it- all 11 of us for months.  Today I am happier than I have ever been. Matt and I have 9 children all together. With this large blended family brings more experiences, challenges, and mouth dropping moments!

Now that I am healing, I have come back to personal blogging and writing openly about my past, my now and the future I want to create. Some people say I have lived a hard life, but I say it’s a life full of experience and I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. Others have asked me why I am writing it now and the answer is I feel compelled to do so. I agree- it would be easier to just march forward, but in the past are my lessons that I don’t ever want to forget. My hope is that my thoughts will give confidence to others knowing their trials can have a positive outcome, even though it may not feel like it at the time.

I am grateful for life-changing, profound experiences of loss, love and light.

 

Stand up and Live

spouse committed suicide 2008

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