A year ago Today

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A year ago today, I created a blog.

I am sure that many of you are aware of how it came to be. I felt inspired to do it after my Mom, Dad, and two youngest brothers, Keegan and Liam, passed away, due to carbon monoxide poisoning that filled our house, because of a faulty water heater.

I had thought that it might be something good for me. Maybe it would help me with my grief. It would be therapeutic for me. An escape from the world that I felt swarmed by. This would be the pathway to a world where I could go into the innermost parts of my mind and heart, and really discern what I believe to be true. It would help me to discern what I was really feeling.

But I never dreamed that this blog would receive the attention and the reaction that it did.
I didn’t think that you, my reader, would read it and learn from it. I didn’t think that because of you, my reader, I would continue to write for as long as I did. I’ve never been a Blogger. I didn’t know how it worked. But because of you, I felt the desire to keep going.

And so, this blog post is for you.

This is a personal thank you from me to you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I do not know how else to say exactly how I feel. This year has been… well, A New Normal. Things nowadays are becoming… comfortable, to an extent. Things are as they are, and they can’t go back to the way it was.

I’m starting to accept that.
I guess you could say, I’m entering into the acceptance phase of grief.
But, let’s be real, I don’t think grief really goes away. It gets easier, and I find new ways to cope with it, and new strategies.
I thought that once I hit a year, I would be 100% better. I would be healed, and move on. Such is not the case, not when you love someone (let alone four people) that much, with your whole heart.

And that’s ok. It’s ok to not be completely better right now.

I may know you, and I may not know you. But I feel like we all have something in common.

We are human, and we go through hard things.
And maybe my trials are not deemed to be as “hard” as your trials, and maybe your trials are not deemed as “hard” as mine. Nevertheless, we go through hard things. Who defines hard, anyways? Pain is pain, and hard is hard.

We are children of a Father in Heaven. I really truly believe that. And I truly believe that these things that happen are for our good. If there’s anything that I learned for myself this year, is that hard things will happen. And we decide if it’s going to strengthen us, or weaken us.
Which, of course, is so much easier said than done. Believe me, I GET THAT.
But, it’s true.

To you, my reader, I want to thank you for enduring. Thank you for not giving up, even when your life is down, and hard, and you lose someone you love. Thank you for still going on when you just want to crumble. Thank you for holding on to the hope that life will get better.

You strengthen me.

I am grateful for this opportunity to share with you my testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and his Atonement. That’s another thing that I’ve learned. It’s the MOST IMPORTANT THING. If it wasn’t for that, none of this would matter.
I invite all to come unto him. I would invite everyone who is seeking something in your life, go to him. I promise, he is there.

My reader, thank you for giving me something to strive for. You have helped me through so much.

Life is always becoming A New Normal. Because, we are always changing. It’s constantly new.
Isn’t that just so cool?

 
Questions to Ponder:
  1. How do other people’s experiences help you better accept yours?
While serving an LDS ASL mission, Jensen learned of her family’s accidental death in February of 2014.  She returned home after the accident and began blogging about her experiences with grief and how her faith helps her work through the hard days.  She married her high school sweetheart, Jacob Hall in May of 2015.  She is currently attending Idaho State University and is studying English. She follows a motto taught to her by her dad, “Life isn’t about discovering who you are; it is about discovering who you want to become.” Right now, the future is bright and full of options, and so she takes one day at time. 

A New Normal

Mother, father, and two brothers died in carbon monoxide accident  2/2014

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