5 Ideas that will change how you view Loneliness in your life.

So many are called to bear the cross of loneliness for a time in this life.  
 It is a difficult burden that causes suffering and is at times physically and emotionally painful.
It can feel like too great of a load to bear. 

 


Yet I have found loneliness can be a time for change, a metamorphosis per say.  A caterpillar could not grow wings except it first experienced a period cocooned in isolation and solitude. It seems that we too at times must endure that transformation of loneliness, when being a caterpillar does not feel right, yet we know not what we are to become.  In the end, it is through our patient waiting and enduring suffering that we discover the joy of being able to soar.

What specific concepts help me to
 deal with loneliness? 

1.Suffering carves out a place in our heart so that we can experience greater joy in the future. 

The suffering involved with loneliness has the potential to cause accelerated personal character growth. Growth that God, in his infinite wisdom, understands that we need.

As I have come to understand and wrap my heads around this principle, my loneliness has become easier to bear because it has a purpose. A purpose to change me and make me better so that I can enjoy more fulfilling relationships with others in the future.

Patiently waiting on the Lord in my time of struggle, going to Him and asking “What am I to learn from this?” Puts me in the position to receive the maximum amount of help and blessings from Him in the process. This is something I have found to be true over and over again. Is the secret of how I get through the hard times.

2. Drawing near to Christ allows me to feel His comfort and peace and helps to soften my hearts. 

Christ can take our broken hearts and He can mend them. Not just mend them by giving us a substitute relationship, but by expanding our capacity to love others. Changing our hearts allows us to be more connected in our relationships with others and with God. The suffering of loneliness carves out a place for us to feel greater joy in the future.

How does developing a closer relationship with Christ spell loneliness?

As we draw nearer to Him, we desire to become more like Him.  We take on His attributes and character traits. Christ always turned outward, never inward.

Selfishness will cause loneliness. 

Serving and reaching out to others allows God’s light and love to fill us and the void left by loneliness.  When we are His hands we reconnect with not only His light, but with the light of other around us.

Reconnecting with the light cures loneliness. 

If I feel His light, or His spirit then I do not feel lonely.  The more I pattern my life after His, the more selfless I am, the more that connection stays open.  When I turn inward in self-pity, selfishness,  stubbornness, or pride, then I shut the door and can no longer receive that light.

Personal purity, obedience to His commandments, and heeding the voice of His spirit allows me to maintain that connection. The more I watch my thoughts, actions and deeds and make sure they are aligned with His teachings, the more of that healing light I enjoy.

3. Gratitude temper feelings of loneliness. 

As I am grateful for the relationships I have and for the goodness in life, the Lord can fill my hearts with light. I become capable of having more emotionally and spiritually fulflling relationships. Gratitude invite feelings of peace, serenity and invites inspiration.

4. Reaching out to others can assuage loneliness.

We should be anxiously engaged in a good cause and do much of our own free will to bring good things to pass in this world. As we forget ourselves and reach out with purpose to others, then we find meaning in our life. We develop greater love and connections with others and we find compassion and empathy counteract loneliness.
It is a cross that with patience we bear, but as we take it up, it has the capacity to strengthen us.  Bearing this cross with patience allows the Lord to bless us and larger ways. It allows Him the time to teach us. Understanding that loneliness teaches us empathy and compassion can help us find purpose in the suffering that accompanies it.  

5. Experiencing loneliness gives me the opportunity to practice many Christlike traits.

The refining fire of loneliness provides a in a heavily “weighted” testing experience that accelerates personal growth.  Compassion, empathy, patience, long-suffering, forgiveness, mercy, and charity can all be practiced in the crucible of loneliness.

“The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest.  The most damaged people are the wisest.  All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way that they do.” –Anonymous


Questions to consider:

1. How can you use your experience with loneliness to make you better?

2. What relationships can you focus on and improve so that they will be more more filling and ease your loneliness and the loneliness of others?