This morning I was in tears again. Little things seem to be striking chords that I thought were long buried. I went running to clear my head and while I ran I listened to one of my favorite speakers, Richard G. Scott. Having lost two children and then his wife 18 years ago, I feel that he understands and has great perspective on the things that I am facing. I listened to the talk he gave right after his wife’s death,Trust in the Lord, a total of five times…I needed it that much! Then I listened to his most recent talk, Make the Exercise of you Faith your First Priority.
I determined that I needed to be more earnest in my prayers and that I need to work on accepting God’s will. These thought brought me back to the prayer I prayed right after we found out about the accident…
After my mother-in-law called to tell me that the plane had not landed, we began calling and looking at flight records on the internet to try to determine where my husband and father were. In the process, my oldest son, Alex found an article on the internet. He said,
“Mom, there has been a plane crash in California. It was a twin Sessna bound for Omaha, Nebraska. It says one is presumed dead.”
The story confirmed what I already knew in my heart and so instinctively so as to protect my children and to concentrate any strength we had, I gathered my kids around, and we knelt and I prayed,
“Heavenly Father, we know that Dad and Grandpa are no longer here. Please help us to get through this and help us to have peace and understanding.”
I cannot tell you why I prayed that prayer, but in that moment I felt peace…
Peace from submitting my will to the Lord.
I found this story that reminded me of that prayer that I said and it also highlights the importance of recognizing and then accepting the will of God in our lives…
Several years ago there was a young father who had been active in church as a boy but had chosen a different path during his teenage years. After serving in the military, he married a lovely girl, and soon children blessed their home.
One day without warning their little four-year-old daughter became critically ill and was hospitalized. In desperation and for the first time in many years, the father was found on his knees in prayer, asking that the life of his daughter be spared. Yet her condition worsened. Gradually, this father sensed that his little girl would not live, and slowly his prayers changed; he no longer prayed for healing but rather for understanding. “Let Thy will be done” was now the manner of his pleadings.
Soon his daughter was in a coma, and the father knew her hours on earth were few. Fortified with understanding, trust, and power beyond their own, the young parents prayed again, asking for the opportunity to hold her close once more while she was awake. The daughter’s eyes opened,and her frail arms reached out to her parents for one final embrace. And then she was gone. This father knew their prayers had been answered—a kind, compassionate Father in Heaven had comforted their hearts. God’s will had been done, and they had gained understanding. (Adapted from H.Burke Peterson, “Adversity and Prayer,” Ensign, Jan. 1974, 18.)
Simply saying the words “Thy will be done”
is not enough.
This act of submission is also one that we cannot tackle on our own. Weneed God’s help in surrendering our will to Him. Prayer is the best way to help us do that.
“Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other”Savior provided the perfect example as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, “saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup fromme: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. … And being in anagony he prayed more earnestly” (Luke 22:42, 44). – Bednar
My prayers have taken on a new level or earnestness since the death of my husband.
At almost the two year mark I find myself struggling again. Things in my life have brought those events back into the forefront, and I feel the absence of my husband more acutely. Sadness and fear seem to want to envelope me and so I am praying all the more earnestly…
Praying to be able to have understanding and to have the strength to do what He wants me to do.
Praying to know what that path is and trying to act on those feelings and ideas that come into my mind that encourage me to do good in this world.
There hasn’t been a huge healing break through as yet, but I get those moments of peace when I come back into alignment with God’s will. I seem to find enough for the day… My Daily Bread.
“The object of our prayers should not be to present a wish list or a series of requests but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is eager to bestow, according to His will and timing. Every sincere prayer is heard and answered by our Heavenly Father, but the answers we receive may not be what we expect or come to us when we want or in the way we anticipate.” -Bednar
I believe this quote to be true. When I look beyond what I think I want, and open myself up to the idea that my circumstancing are teaching me important things, then I am able to understand why I must suffer at time. Not only that, but I am able to see the compensating blessings that are in my life. When I am praying to align my will with God’s will…
I am more grateful.
I see things more clearly.
I can function in peace.
I seem to be able to do more and be more that I could on my own.
These are real blessings. They are real changes, and despite the periods of sorrow, the setbacks and the pain, I do see growth within me.