The Growth and Hope that the Perspective of Another Year Brings

 
I am shocked at the marked difference between this year and last year. 
This lets me see growth and it gives me so much hope for the future 
 

The funny thing is that my circumstances have not really changed….

What has changed is me

 

My perspective,
my attitude, and
How I react are so different.
 

I’m still in Springfield trying to sell my house. I still have to take care of 8 acres of irrigated lawn with flowerbeds to weed, trees to mulch, and bushes to prune. I still have a large home to care for and financially maintain in ‘show quality’ condition all by myself. Furthermore, last year I had three teenage boys and a daughter to help me most of the summer, while this year not only is my oldest son gone, but my second son will leave at the beginning of July. Not only that, but we have also only shown my home once since January. 

I should be majorly freaking out at this point.


Last year I was a frazzled mess, worried and upset about every problem that arose and distraught about when my house wouldn’t sell. I had my own plan, and not really realizing it at the time, I fought against God to make it happen.

I utterly failed. 

 

Not only did I fail, but I was an emotional wreck.


This year is so much different even though the situation is not.

I have given up fighting God.

 

  • I’ve decided that His plan is better than mine anyway. 
  • I’ve decided that it’s okay that I don’t know what that plan is. 
  • I’ve decided to just trust him. 
  • I’ve decided to focus all of that energy that I spent being distraught and worried in doing good to other people. 
As I have done that, I found that the Savior’s grace has blessed me with peace


It has giving me added perspective… 

to see that worldly things do not matter, that relationships and the difference we make in peoples lives is all that we leave behind. 

It is help me to be settled… 

knowing that God will take care of me and that His plan is more perfect than my own. 

It has blessed me with tranquility… 

The ability to be still and to listen to promptings from the spirit and to get that added direction. 

He helps me to keep my focus in the midst of chaos.  

His peace helps me to focus on the worthwhile goal of becoming a better person, a better mother, a better friend, a better wife… 

The person I want to be when I see my husband again.

If ever I feel the hints of an emotional meltdown, 

  • I pray for added strength. 
  • I pray for the ability to understand
  • I pray for the capacity to do what I’m asked to do,
  • I pray for the perspective to know what to do first. 
As I go about trying to do God’s work, 
I find that peace in return.

It’s taken me a year to figure this out…, 

to figure out what I could not learn in a lifetime before. 

Trials do that for us. 

 

Trials accelerate our learning.
 

I have hints about what my future will bring…

promptings that I simply have to trust and have faith in. 

          That should be driving me insane, but for the most part I’m okay with it. 

 

If I trust God and accept that peace
then that can be enough, and  
I can move forward

Comments

  1. wrote on May 16th, 2014 at 2:45 am

    Linda McClellan

    I’ve always heard that when you are to a point where you’re not sure where to step next and you’re a little freaked out you hear a story like yours. I would think you’re one strong lady, and my heart goes out to you. But it seems after a year you are starting to get it together which gives me hope. I am dealing with the garbage I have been carrying around for years from a lot of bad choices that I made in the past. In fact I have signed up to go thru a sort of cleansing at the church I attend and just finished reading the booklet. Now the filling out of paperwork! But I have been working on what you are talking about which is to trust God and have faith that He has it under control and you have given me more strength and resolve under my belt and I want to thank you for that. I read your blog not by accident but because God led me here to you so that I could hear it again from someone else’s lips. I have a lot of learning to do too and thank you so much for sharing.

    • wrote on May 16th, 2014 at 3:42 am

      Veronica Clarke

      God bless you Linda for your efforts in moving forward 🙂 I too believe that God leads us to find the answers we are seeking. When we turn to Him, we find extra help along the way. Don’t give up and don’t get discouraged… some days will be hard, but moving forward is the way out. We have to deal with consequences of the past, but as much as possible live in the present and don’t let the past discourage you. I hope you can find more help from my blog, that’s why I share it. Good luck with your journey, you are in my prayers 🙂

  2. wrote on May 16th, 2014 at 2:34 pm

    Joanna Sormunen

    Great post! I have been there too. At some moment it’s just the smart thing to say, well, I’ve kicked and screamed but I guess it’s time to try it your way because I know it’s the best one. Or at least, that is what I usually do.
    Thank you for sharing this and for the encouragement!