What is the key to healing or getting through difficulties?

When life seems to be falling in around us, the world tells us to spend more time on ourselves, to focus our efforts inward.  People tell us we need more pampering, more leisure, or more ‘me time.’  “Give yourself permission” to just focus on you is the universal message.  I cannot tell you how many people have given me this counsel over the last year.


I can tell you this…

I have found the opposite to be true.

When people hear about how I am trying to focus on helping lift others, they often respond…


  • “I’m worried about you.”  
  • “I don’t think it’s healthy to take on other people’s problems at this time.”
  • “I’m afraid your not spending enough time on you, and that you aren’t giving yourself time to heal.”
To this I honestly reply,


 “This is what is helping me heal!  You ask me why I am doing so well.  This is the reason why.  When you focus your efforts on others, the Lord blesses you with added strength, comfort and understanding.”  


I read this talk today by the 5th president of our church,  Lorenzo Snow.  I thought, AHH HA!  I finally have proof of this principle from someone else, and not just anyone, but a prophet of God.  I wanted to share some of his quotes with you, because this is a principle that people can follow regardless of whether you are a member of our church.  Truth is truth, and it is universal.  I hope you will internalize and use this principle to help you get through hardships in your life.




It has been my experience that you forget your troubles as you concentrate on helping others, but it is also more that that.  It’s not just about forgetting them or putting them aside for awhile. When you care about other people and try to be the Lord’s hands He blesses you with an added portion of HIS LOVE and HIS STRENGTH.  (I call this grace.) You literally find that your capacity to deal with your troubles increases and that those burdens don’t feel nearly so heavy anymore.  He also blesses you with additional knowledge and understanding.  That knowledge helps you mentally deal with those trials better.  We are blessed with the ability to see how those trials can actually be a benefit to us. Serving, helping and lifting others has in turn lifted and helped me through this year.




“We have been sent into the world to do good to others; and in doing good to others we do good to ourselves.”


“I pray to God, in the name of Jesus, that you and I may try every day to keep a little more faithful, that we may try to be a little better to-day than yesterday, that we may try and have a little more love and affection toward our neighbors, as we are told that upon this hangs the law and the prophets, “to love the Lord, our God, with all our might, with all our mind, and with all our strength, and our neighbor as ourself.” [See Matthew 22:37–40.] “To do unto others as we would have others do unto us.” This is according to the law and the prophets.” [See Matthew 7:12.]


These are principles we should and must learn.


1. Our happiness increases when we help others find happiness.

“Good will come to us all right if we keep our minds outside of ourselves to a certain extent, and try to make others happier and draw them a little nearer to the Lord. … When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated.”


2. When we look first to the interests of others, we improve more rapidly ourselves.

Whenever we share our light or knowledge we always end up stronger and more confident.

We multiply and expand our own knowledge.


“If you want to secure the friendship and affections of your friends go to work and comfort them with that light which you have received, remembering those blessings came down from God.”


“Let him go to work and be willing to sacrifice for the benefit of his friends. If he wants to build himself up, the best principle he can do it upon is to build up his friends.”


“Let your minds be expanded to comprehend and look after the interest of your friends that are around you, and where it is in your power to secure benefits to your friends do so, and in so doing you will find that those things which you need will come into your hands quicker than if you labor entirely to secure them to yourselves independent of regarding the interests of your friends.”


3.When we sacrifice for the good of others, we get heaven within us.

“There is a self sacrifice to be made for the interests of those with whom we are associated. We see this in the Savior. It is so with others; just in proportion as they are willing to sacrifice for others, so they get God in them, and the blessings of eternity. Just in proportion as you … sacrifice one for another, just in that proportion you will advance in the things of God. Now if you want to get heaven within you and to get into heaven you want to pursue that course that angels do who are in heaven. If you want to know how you are to increase, I will tell you, it is by getting godliness within you.”


“A person never can enjoy heaven until he learns how to get it, and to act upon its principles.  Individuals can enjoy heaven around them in all places. We have got to go to work and do this; we must go to work and establish heaven upon this earth.”


This is a song a widower sent me that testifies of this same principle. 

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can’t see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.


So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see.
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.


Look beyond ourselves
There’s so much sorrow
It’s way too late to say
I’ll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It’s so long overdue


So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There’s so much to be thankful for.


Even with our differences
There is a place we’re all connected
Each of us can find each other’s light


So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can’t see
It’s up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more


    There’s so much to be thankful for

Questions to Ponder:

1. Who could you reach out to be a friend to?

2. Are there times from your past when helping others has healed you?

3. How can this help loneliness?


Check out this post in the Service Badge

I was 38 years old and the mother of 3 teenaged sons and a 10 year-old daughter when I became a widow. My fairy tale world was shattered. I lost my best friend and the love of my life. In that moment I knew I could choose, choose to sink into the darkness of despair, or I could choose to turn to the Lord for understanding and direction. I chose the light and it has made all of the difference. I share my story, what I have learned this life is all about and how I have refound purpose and direction in the hopes of helping others who are struggling. I am determined that when I meet my husband again that we will say, this was worth it. We will look at the learning and the good this tragedy accomplished, and we will say, this was not for naught.

Not For Naught: A Young Widow’s Journey

spouse and father-in-law died in a plane crash 11/2012.