So Saturday night I vented on a Widows/Widowers Facebook group about my loneliness and the lack of ability to date anyone because of my geographical location. I posted…
“Frustrated, frustrated, frustrated- not feeling very positive tonight. Especially when I am waiting up for my senior to get home from his second date this weekend! Did I mention that I was frustrated! “
I was definitely joining the ‘murmur brothers.’
First, let me take a step back and tell you who the ‘murmur brothers’ are so you can understand the rest of this post if you are not LDS. In the Book of Mormon, a prophet Lehi tells his family that he has seen a vision and that Jerusalem is going to be destroyed. The Lord warns him to take his family and leave. They were very wealthy and all of the boys were not very excited about leaving their property in favor of living in a tent in the wilderness. All of them complain or murmur against their father. However, the youngest brother, Nephi, humbles himself and prays to know the Lord’s will. He is given a witness that what he father said was true and he changes his attitude. His older brother never humble themselves and ask God. Throughout the journey the older brothers, Laman and Lemuel, are constantly complaining and rebelling against their father. So for my children, I have labeled these two as the “murmur brothers.’
Back to my story…
I went to bed and decided to pray for some direction. Here is the key to overcoming murmuring…
Be like Nephi
Nephi changes from murmuring when he HUMBLES himself and decides to pray for some direction from the Lord. When we murmur we are being prideful. Why? because we are setting our will against the Lord’s. That’s the definition of pride: a lack or absence of humility or teachableness. Pride sets people in opposition to each other and to God. I hadn’t really thought of murmuring as a form of pride before; but it is. If we humble ourselves and become meek, being willing to turn our will over to the Lord, we place ourselves in the position to feel the Spirit and to know His will. Pride sets people in opposition to each other and to God. I hadn’t really thought of murmuring as a form of pride before; but it is. If we humble ourselves and become meek, being willing to turn our will over to the Lord, we place ourselves in the position to feel the Spirit and to know His will.He will not instruct us until we are actually willing to be taught. Learning to turn my will over to the Lord has been the major reoccurring lesson that I have been learning the last 11 months. Sometimes I think the Lord is trying to beat it in my head! As a result of that, I have done a lot of study and pondering on the idea of turning my will over to the Lord and really honestly accepting His will as the best plan. So after deciding that I needed to get my attitude back in line with the Lord’s plan for my life and after praying that night and then fasting and praying the next day, I was lead to talk to a single lady at church. I expressed my frustration with the single scene and she quickly concurred with me. As we talked I felt that I should ask her if she wanted to do something on a weekend night. She was thrilled. I then suggest that another lady in our ward who is about my age and who is divorced join us as well. As it just so happened, after church she was in the hall. I mentioned the get together to her and she was also interested. I realized that the Lord had answered my prayer. While I am waiting upon the Lord for his timing for me to date, my time could be productively filled by being a friend to these two ladies. Not only did the Lord give me something productive to do, but he gave me a way to feel less lonely. While I am waiting upon the Lord for his timing for me to date, my time could be productively filled by being a friend to these two ladies. Not only did the Lord give me something productive to do, but he gave me a way to feel less lonely. Waiting patiently on the Lord is really, really hard. It’s so hard not to get discouraged and complain, but if we will try to turn our will to HIm he can lighten that burden for us. He can actually make the waiting enjoyable.
I have had this quote pulled to use in a post sometime, and I think this is the one to use it in.
“But, brothers and sisters, what keeps us from knowing and loving Him more? Our reluctance to give away all our sins—thinking, instead, a down payment will do. Likewise, our reluctance to let our wills be swallowed up in His will—thinking, instead, that merely acknowledging His will is sufficient!” – Neal A. Maxwell
Questions to Ponder:
1. How does complaining pull you from the Spirit? How can you use prayer to avoid murmuring?
2. How can loneliness be helped by reaching out instead of complaining?
Neal A. Maxwell, “Encircled in the Arms of His Love.” Oct 2002
Richard G Scott, “Trust in the Lord.” Oct 1995