Sometimes I just get so frustrated with myself.
Last night and this morning I was really struggling with my inability to perfectly apply the principles that I know to be true and that have worked for me so well in the past. It is as if I have to relearn how to do the same math problem over and over again every time the teacher changes the numbers. Last night I was talking to a friend about a problem that had been weighing on my mind for sometime. I was feeling the need to fix it all, and I just didn’t know how I possibly could. My friend’s response was,
” You don’t need to take it all on by yourself.”
He reminded me to pray and ask God to help work it out. I got off the phone and thought,
“Duh! You know that. Come on Veronica, you are smarter than this. How do you get so caught up in the worrying and the fixing that you miss the most obvious solution of all- to PRAY. Here you are again, right back where you started, trying to work out your own salvation all on your own. When will you ever learn?”
Those thoughts filled me with frustration, as I was made very aware of my continued weaknesses. I slept on the matter and still in the morning I was upset with my progress.
“Don’t be so hard on my girl.”
Later that morning my friend reminded me…
not to let the devil convince me that I am not of worth…
that my efforts are failures…
to keep my chin up …
not to stop being who I am and doing what I am trying to do.
So it’s time to pick myself up and be proactive…
- I need to stop being discouraged and paralyzed by my own weaknesses.
- I need to pray more for help.
- I need to lean on my Savior and Heavenly Father and let them take care of the things that are outside of my circle of influence and listen to their counsel for the things that I can do better.
- I need to repent and try again.
Someday I am going to figure this math problem out, and then there will be another one to work through. Step by step, a day at a time, we can get a little better, a little closer to God. Someday these things that I am struggling to make part of my character will just be there intrinsically and it won’t be so hard to remember, but for now I have to practice those habits. I have to learn and relearn to cement the knowledge and the behavior.
It is PRACTICED CONSITENCY that helps us to BECOME who we want to be.
I cannot expect to jump the entire canyon in one leap- even though I really want to be on the other side. Sometimes I just have to remember that…
Questions to Ponder:
1. What thought patterns help us fight discouragement? How can prayer bring us around to those patterns? 2. How are lack of patience or unwillingness to change related to discouragement? How do those things prevent us from moving forward?